Manzanita Tree 2006

My husband for three years, since retiring from the US Air Force after 22 1/2 years, owns a small lawn maintenance business with himself only as CEO, Foreman, and Laborer. He has utilized the services of our boys as laborers, also.  One day in early fall, 2006 he and my 15 year old youngest son had been working and a customer had a tree in a pot that he wanted my husband to dispose of.  So he loaded it up and headed for home.  We keep a rather large compost, due to the many materials my husband brings home.  So my son decided the tree was pretty and he would display this rather unusual  tree near the compost.  The compost pile is at the gate to our driveway. 
Later that day I was driving past the newly acquired 'manzanita' tree and I stopped.  I am a native of Nevada County and had never seen a "manzanita" tree quite like this one.  It had the largest pink blooms all over it.  They appeared to be growing on each limb of this 3 ft tall tree.  The way it was positioned I could not see the pot it was sitting in and thought it was actually growing out of the compost.  Why had I not noticed this before? 
Being in a bit of a hurry I didn't tarry too long, however, I got to thinking about the five acres of manzanita we owned and if this manzanita had bloomed so beautifully then all of mine would.  So when I arrived home later, that day, instead of rushing to my home duties I took a walk around the property looking for blooms on the manzanita trees.  Not one bud on any of our manzanita.  So the incident was filed in the "ask my husband later" part of my mind and on with life.   This was long before we all had phones that had unlimited calls and we could just pick up the phone, text, and get the answers immediately. 
So a week or so went by and then I ask him why the manzanita was growing there and he laughs, because it was a fake plant.  Not even a manzanita, just painted to look very similar and the blossoms were not real at all. 
Back to studying the native plants, flowers, and trees for me.

This is a true Manzanita bush in bloom.


This is the full growth of Manzanita Tree that would overtake our property with the poison oak, if we allowed it. 



I have loved Manzanita since I was a child.  I used to make forts under the shelter of the tree, played hide and seek with neighbor kids, and played pretend within the little forests of the trees.  I enjoy the red bark, such a unique tree.  When we moved to our property and started clearing the trees, I sold the trees in parts.  Terrarium Logs, Money Trees, Marshmallow Roasting Sticks, etc.  As with most of my other sales efforts, I made little or no money with this venture, also. 

Psycho Rooster....

Sometimes a free gift is just too good to be true. 
So we did get chickens at Rocky Ridge, built a chicken coop out of wood paneled garage doors from the neighbor.  A few years of chickens and loving the farm fresh eggs a family friend was getting rid of a rooster.  She said he didn't get along with her hens.  So we integrate him in with ours and within a week he had pecked all of our hens bloody.  So we let him out of the coop and let him roam the 5 acres.  He had lots to eat and water.  So what does he do?  He waits by the back door, which is the door we use to enter the house, and he attacks us as we enter and exit the house.  He would scream and dance and jump on our heads, pecking us.  So the twins had a friend who had a phobia of chickens to begin with and he freaked out when he came over.  So the oldest twin and I decide we cannot live like this and one night after football practice we "take care of the rooster" and burn him in the burn barrel.  The next morning we are getting in the car to go to school and we hear rrrrr  rrrrr rrrrr from the burn barrel.  The vocal cord was still doing its job.  So my son and I pull him out and really "take care of him".   He was charred and except the vocal cord, dead!  Never got another Bad Rooster after that!

Summer of 2000....

We have lived in Penn Valley for one year now.  In the short year at Rocky Ridge we have acquired 2 sheep and a pot belly pig from some friends at church who moved to Ohio.  We rescued 2 Nubian goats that were attacked by a friends neighbors dogs.  The twins bought and raised 2 pigs for 4H and will show them at fair. We are talking about getting chickens.  The children are 5, 8, 12, 12 and 16.  The boys are in Little League and the youngest boy is in minors and plays outfield.  I pray for good sportsmanship to be learned.  The twins are in majors and are very athletic.  They made all-stars, though they got eliminated after losing the first two games.  They were really upset.  All of these life lessons, so hard to learn.  Snack Shack 2000, our first year, my oldest daughter and I rock that shack!  Everyday from 3:30-8pm and all day Saturdays.  Plus shopping during the week. My daughter does such a great job helping with it, she is such a lady and still a child.... I want this always in my life.  She turns 16 and has her birthday at Bridgeport a few days after.  She passes her driving test!  She will drive herself to school this year.  No more bus.  The boys go on to football in the fall. 

Las Vegas July 27-July 31, 2000
The kids and I packed up in our white Aerostar and off to Vegas we went.  The oldest daughter and I split the driving and after 10 hours, 5 children and a fun-filled road trip.... we arrived.  We went to Wet-n-Wild the next day with the cousins and Laser Tag and then dinner at the grandparents.  The oldest daughter and oldest twin spent the night at the grandparents house.  We had a wonderful time.  My husband's sister is so open and hospitable to us.   I miss my husband and wish he could have joined us. 

Football season and trying to work family time in with school, football, church and the oldest working at Holiday Mkt.  I want the best for the children physically, mentally, and spiritually.  I have prayed for years that God's will be done in each of their lives and through this very busy time in life teach us all to live for You.  1 John 4:16  And we have know and believed the love that God hath given to us.  God is love and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God and God in Him. 

Christmas 2000
On Saturday, Dec. 23, 2000 the entire family drove in the White Aerostar to Las Vegas for Christmas.  my husband's sister flew out from Pennsylvania and we stayed with the my husband's younger sister and cousins.  The kids all get along so well.  On Christmas Eve we attend a Candlelight Service and have dinner at grandma and grandpa's.  We play Catch Phrase with all the kids.  On the 26th we went to find snow on Mt. Charleston.  We found a small patch and the kids had fun sledding.  We headed home on Dec 27th.  The good memories we made. 
The drive was the best!  Time with the family in the car was so fun!  My husband tells a story on the drive of a time when he was 12 or 13 playing baseball.  He was shortstop and pitcher.  He claims to have been very good and got chosen for the all-star team.  He pitched and played short stop and in the last inning the score was tied.  George got up to bat and 2 strikes later he swung and hit a home run.  Due to that home run he was given the bat from the game.  He still has this bat, of course.

Where Are You?

Do not read if you have a weak stomach....

One Saturday in June, 2010 my husband and I were headed home after a nice long workout at Beale AFB.  As we approached Oak Ridge Rd., I noticed our neighbor's mailbox open.  (This was not uncommon for me to stop and close it.)  The latch on the mailbox was broken.  So I say, "Hey, stop and I will close our neighbor's mailbox."  So my husband stops and I walk to the mailbox to close it.  Peering in the mailbox, I see a large stack of mail and look at the date on the them.  Some of the pieces were from February, 2010.  So I close the mailbox and walk back to the car.  In my soul I am sensing something not right.  I say to my husband, let's go check on our neighbor.  In my soul--No Way--I knew what I could find.  Our neighbor was 86 and lived alone.  So we talk about the mail and we decide to go up to his home.  We decide it would be best to be neighborly and go check on him.  

We drive up to his house and I go to the door, knock and wait.  I peak in the side windows and see the mess on the floor, cat food bags, poop, litter, etc.   Then I hear a cat meowing and check the door knob.  It was unlocked, and I push it open and smell instant death.  UGH. My husband follows me in, asking what I am doing?  I start franticly calling out our neighbors name.  I head toward the kitchen, spare room and bathroom.  Cat following me and meowing like crazy.  There is no water in toilets and then I head toward the other end of the house.  My husband is standing at the doorway to a room like a statue, frozen in place.  He puts his hand up to stop me and I ask what?  He can't talk.  So I rush into room, get a brief look and see a decomposing body on a bed.  I grab my husband's hand and we walk to the kitchen.  I give the cat water, grab the phone and call 911.  My husband is asking what I am doing?  I tell my husband to see if there is more food for the cat.  The neighbor must have known his time was getting close, he left notes written in February about his last wishes, cremation, donation to an organization, and 6 bags of cat food. 

We go outside to wait and get relief from the smell.  We wait for the sheriff and cry.  The saddest part was that he died alone and nobody knew for months.  We helped the family care of the landscape and get the place looking good for his memorial.  I need to take care of the ones I love, my church family, to keep in touch, to show them I love and care for them. 

OH, NEXT TIME WE WILL CALL THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE FOR A WELFARE CHECK.

In case you were wondering... he had the mail continue to be delivered even if he did not come pick up for a long time.

Road Trip.....; (

The last couple weeks have been incredibly busy.  I helped with and attended a Women's Mini Retreat.  It was an amazing time of spending time with the women who I cherish.  We had a sleepover on Friday night with games and crazy times.  Saturday was a time of refreshment, fellowship and our lesson was on sharing the nuggets in life that have made us the incredible women we are. 
Here is an entry from a journal I wrote in 2007, then submitted it to Guidepost in 2010.

As this mother thinks of her son growing up, going through all the stages that he's gone through, she lets him know that she will always be there to support him.

Trying to sleep was impossible tonight as the anticipation welled up inside me.  The following morning my son and I would be driving to Logan, Utah to visit Utah State University for the weekend.  My son had accepted a full scholarship to play football with the Utah State University Aggies for the next four years.  My son and I had experienced a strained relationship through his last years in high school.  I knew it was his time in life to test his independence and to struggle through the process of becoming independent.  As with all youth, he was becoming an independent adult and preparing himself for leaving home in the fall.  He was really close to his father and his twin brother and would need to separate himself emotionally to prepare for the physical separation.  I knew our family would need to adjust to the transition that we would go through and I was reluctant to let go of the ultimate care and nurturing.  Through the teen years, I felt he could care less about me and I am sure he felt I was distant and could care less about him.  He would blame me for being too hard on him, not loving him.  Was this part of the process of letting go?  It better be, because this was the most emotionally stressful situation I have ever experienced. 

To know that in the fall James would be living 600 miles from me and from my nurturing and care.  Not only would he be leaving home for college, but his twin brother would also be leaving home to attend San Diego State University.  This was another 550 miles in a completely different direction.  REALLY?  Who would take care of them?  Who would feed them?  Oh, yes, they are both on the food plans, have dorms on campus and God will care for them.  They both still need me.  They did not know that I really need them.  Not only would I miss them filling our home, but I would miss caring for them and knowing how they really are.  I am not a telephone person and would need to keep in touch.  But how?  A lot of prayer and trusting God would be needed through this time of transition. 

The moment finally came and we were awake at 5am and on the road by 6am.  I was driving first and we had a plan to alternate driving throughout the day.  We drove over the Sierra Nevada Mountains in California and now my anticipation calmed to an excitement.   To have my son in a care for hours, just us, to talk, to laugh, to experience the drive, one of many we will take to visit him and watch games over the next four years.  We talked about the drive and how long it would take and I had some college brochures and graduation plans we were going to discuss for his high school graduation day.  I would pull them out on a boring stretch of highway somewhere in Nevada.  As we drove, I prayed and a peace came over me.  I felt so much love and pride for the accomplishments in his life.   He was everything a mom would want in a son and the love I felt for him, was even stronger now that the love I felt when I met him and married his father 15 years earlier, and through the years of nurturing and caring for him.

I was looking forward to our first stop in Winnemuca, after over three hours on the road, a chance to stretch and gas up.  I started to get sick, really sick.  I felt pain in my lower abdomen and it was working its way throughout my back and body.  As we stopped I could barely walk, the pain was so intense and I felt nauseas.  My son did not know what to do, or how to care for me, he had not seen me this sick before.  He took over driving and between me having to stop the car every few minutes, I saw true concern and worry in his face and his mannerism.  He probably thought we would never get there, a once ten hour trip was becoming a fifteen hour trip.  At one stop I went into the gas station and purchased some over-the-counter medicines.  I was diagnosing myself with the flu.  None of the medications helped.  I could find no relief for the pain.  I meditated on God and prayed for mercy and healing.  We were slowly making our way to Logan.  We were not talking about anything, except how I was feeling and what I thought I needed.  The pain took over my entire body.  This is not the way this trip was planned, there was not a word spoken about graduation, college planning, or plans for the fall.  As we got closer to Logan I could not wait to check into the hotel and get comfortable and hopefully sleep.  As we arrived at the hotel and my son checked me in and set me up in my hotel room, he went to catch up with a friend, he knew from high school, who now attended Utah State.  I could tell he was truly concerned about me and leaving me alone.  I took some over-the-counter pain relief medicine and felt like I was dying.  I could not sleep and could not sit-up or get comfortable.  The pain seemed to be spreading throughout my body.  I was weak and extremely tired.  The next 29 hours were spent in the hotel room, resting and praying for relief.  My son showed how truly mature and compassionate, caring and loving he truly was.  He would be fine on his own.  He looked after me, cared for me and was willing to do anything for me.  Barely 18 years old and so independent.  At the time the pain was so intense that I could not see the reasoning behind this trial I was facing.  I wanted to get home and to process all of the symptoms thoroughly to see what this ailment really was.  It felt like a really bad case of the flu.  As most mothers, I am the caregiver, the nurturer, the responder for my family.  I normally do not receive care from others and this was an experience that was unnatural. 

We finally headed for home on Sunday, after what felt like the longest weekend of my life.  The pain had not gotten better, though my body was getting numb to the pain.  I was not eating or functioning very well at all.  My son again drove all the way home and continued to care for me the best he knew how.  When we arrived home I went straight to bed, with the worst pain ever.  I had experienced the pain of childbirth twice with no pain medication and have a very high tolerance of pain.  This pain was worse than any other I have ever felt and the pain lasted and I could find no relief. 

I had another sleepless night and on Monday morning after getting my five kids off to school, drove myself to the emergency room and checked myself in.  The doctors discovered that my appendix had ruptured and the infection was spreading throughout my body.  The doctors were surprised I was even able to function at all.  They did not know exactly when it had ruptured, however, there was no medical explanation for me being alive today.  I was taken into surgery immediately, oh and called my husband on the gurney and told him the news.  The appendix removed, drains put in to remove the infection.  The doctors were optimistic about being able to treat me and remove all of the infection, however, I would not recover quickly.  There would be many treatments, antibiotics, and care from the hospital staff.  After five days in the hospital, my body responded to the treatment and antibiotics perfectly.  I was able to home and recuperate.  During my hospital stay my son would come to visit and I again saw that same concern, care and maturity I had experienced the last weekend with him.  He shared his life with me, his love and through the last few months at home and the upcoming events we would experience with him going off to college in the fall, I knew we would be fine.  The nurturing and care I had been showing him for years now turned around to him nurturing and caring for me.  I needed this sign of his abilities to care for himself and others in order to feel peace about the process that would take place in the fall.  This experience was one that I would have not chosen to experience, however, through the trial and the pain, I was shown the love of God in my son and his care for me.  A true reminder that God would indeed take care of my son, my family and myself through all the transitions in life.  I just need to place my trust in Him, wholly.

Worship through Music

Sometimes a song just reaches out and grabs your soul....  I have a few that bring me to tears each time I hear them. 

Kutless

Everybody falls sometimes

Gotta find the strength to rise

From the ashes

And make a new beginning

Anyone can feel the ache
You think it's more than you can take
But you're stronger
Stronger than you know

Don't you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

It doesn't matter what you've heard
Impossible is not a word
It's just a reason
For someone not to try

Everybody's scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It'll be alright

Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That's what faith can do)
When the world says you can't
It'll tell you that you can
That's what faith can do
That's what faith can do

Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

 

Redeemed

Big Daddy Weave

from the album Love Come To Life

                                       

Seems like all I could see was the struggle
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
Bound up in shackles of all my failures
Wondering how long is this gonna last
Then You look at this prisoner and say to me
“Son, stop fighting a fight that's already been won”

(Chorus)
I am redeemed
You set me free
So I'll shake off theses heavy chains
And wipe away every stain
Now I'm not who I used to be
I am redeemed
I am redeemed

All my life I have been called unworthy
Named by the voice of my shame and regret
But when I hear You whisper, “Child lift up your head”
I remember oh God, You're not done with me yet

Chorus

I don't have to be
The old man inside of me
'Cause his day is long dead and gone
Because I've got a new name
A new life I'm not the same
And a hope that will carry me home

Chorus (X2)

• 

  Greater

  MercyMe

  from the album Welcome To The New

                                               

  Bring your tired
  Bring your shame
  Bring your guilt
  Bring your pain
  Don't you know that's not your name
  You will always be much more to me
  
  Everyday I wrestle with the voices
  That keep telling me I'm not right
  But that's alright
  
  ‘Cause I hear a voice and He calls me redeemed
  When others say I'll never be enough
  And greater is the One living inside of me
  Than he who is living in the world
  In the world
  In the world
  And greater is the One living inside of me
  Than he who is living in the world
  
  Bring your doubts
  Bring your fears
  Bring your hurt
  Bring your tears
  There'll be no condemnation here
  You are holy, righteous and redeemed
  
  Every time I fall
  There'll be those who will call me
  A mistake
  Well, that's ok
  
  There'll be days I lose the battle
  Grace says that it doesn't matter
  ‘Cause the cross already won the war
  He's greater
  He's greater
  I am learning to run freely
  Understanding just how He sees me
  And it makes me love Him more and more
  He's greater
  He's greater
  
  

In the World...Not of the World

1 John 2:15 (NAS) Do not love the world nor the things in the world.  If anyone loves the world, the Father is not in Him.  

God made the entire world and all in it, and set up in the world to walk, work and fellowship.  So is He referring to the sinful, worldly actions.  Those aside from His desires and will for our lives?  I think so....

When I was a child I became involved in a church that took an approach to Christian faith that was similar to Israel's separation laws in Leviticus 11.  We had lists of things that a Christian did and did not do;  things that set us apart from others.  The members carried covered Bibles to church and read them throughout the week.  The teens were for the most part discipled to not go to certain movies, smoke, dance, drink alcohol or utter cuss words.  I went to church on Sunday two times and on Wednesday nights.  Despite what some may think, it wasn't a burden for me to live by those rules.  I followed them joyfully, for in that same church I found warmth, acceptance, nurture, enthusiasm, commitment, fervent prayer and an honest caring for one another as well as for the eternal destiny of our family, friends and neighbors.  It was only later that I came to realize the truth.  Our very real "separation" wasn't defined by the do's and don'ts at all.  What really made us different and set apart as a true community of God's people on earth was the warmth and joy, the peace, the caring, and the commitment that I experienced in that first church I joined, so long ago.  

This is why I so wanted to raise my children with the community of believers and why I desire to fellowship with and share life with those who truly care and love, with His love.  No church is perfect, because the church is made up of US, us sinful, prideful, people trying to share and live His love in this world.

Wherever I worship with other believers I feel that same sense of community.  More so than anywhere else in this world.